Category LGBTQ+ Safe Spaces

CBC

There is disturbing evidence coming from a CBC report that a fundamentalist group is actively working to radically change the Canadian landscape, through direct political intervention.

“Liberty Coalition Canada, a conservative Christian advocacy group, is trying to raise $1.3 million to recruit hundreds of Christian politicians and campaign staff to run at all levels of government.

In a document marked “please keep classified” that was obtained by CBC News, the group says its ultimate goal is “the most powerful political disruption in Canadian history.”

The details are extensive, and disturbing. I won’t repeat them all here, but do encourage you to read the full article. The essence of the work is that they believe in a very fundamentalist version of Christianity, one which goes against Canadian anti-discrimination laws, among other things. It’s hostile to various minorities, and reinforces a very negative patriarchal structure that belongs far in the past.

CBC

What matters here, for today, is this:

Often, progressive and inclusive faith groups and others have been content to simply quietly act inclusively, while accepting the discriminatory policies of others, even within the same denomination, in the name of “unity.” Basically – “if you want to discriminate against LGBTQ+ people and I don’t, we’ll each do what we want and turn a blind eye.”

Personally, I don’t think discrimination is one of those “we can agree to disagree and still have unity” kinds of things. And, I think that, if the discrimination was on any other factor (eg skin colour) – “You only want to allow whites in your church and believe in allowing minorities”, I don’t think we would be so quick to agree-to-disagree in the name of “unity.” We simply do not allows congregations within our denominations (at least any that I am aware of) to choose whether or not to allow racial minorities into their buildings or not.

However, even if we thought that worked in the past (which I don’t think it did), we are absolutely past that point now. Ultra-right wing Christian nationalists are passing anti-LGBQT+ (and other) laws in the US at an incredibly rapid rate, and those influences are coming into Canada, faster than we would like.

Doing inclusion quietly, without rocking the boat, is not enough. We need to speak up, be loud and open about what we believe in. Well funded groups are working intentionally and directly to use the electoral system to take away basic rights from many Canadians. We can not let this happen. As Canadians, we are polite and nice. That should not change. However, we need to make our voices heard – clearly and in mass mobilizations, to elect governments who will not let these terrible things happen.

Let’s amplify our voices, and put an end to the discrimination. We can do it, together.

It’s June – and that means that it’s the start of Pride Month. So, for the next few weeks, that will be our focus here.

Here is some of what I June will look like for me:

• I will be at various Pride events (some in June and some later.) Some I will be there in a personal capacity. Others I will be at a booth/tent or other similar space.
• Our progress flag is hanging on our front porch!
• We have little pride flags (toothpick size and others) ready to decorate desserts and other treats this month
• I’ve got my Mom hugs shirt, bag, buttons and lots of other goodies!

So, to get us started, please share in the comments:

• What are you doing this June for Pride Month?
• What are your favourite parts of Pride Month?
• What are the challenges?
• What changes would you like to see (at work, school, family or other spaces) to help make this month (and every month) safer, friendlier and more inclusive?
• What would you like to see highlighted here for the rest of the month, or later in the year?

Here is today’s International Women’ Day Public Service Announcement…

Trans women are women! All women deserve equal rights and protection – legally, morally and every other way. Instead of women fighting with other women, we need to support each other.

Instead of attacking trans women, let’s recognize that patriarchy and other destructive systems are the real problem.

Let’s commit to ending discrimination and the pain that patriarchy causes – in families, faith groups, communities, nationally and internationally.

Share your hopes, dreams and goals in the comments, and we’ll support each other!

Decades ago, at least in my circles, I was assured that churches (ones that I was connected with, at least), had long since moved past any old or outdated policies on gender or sexual orientation. The somewhat spoken – and somewhat unspoken – message that I got was “Of course we’re inclusive, and everyone younger knows it. We just aren’t talking about it widely because that would upset the oldest members. In a few years, everyone here will be safe and inclusive – just be patient for a few years.” Now, it’s totally possible that I completely misread the assumptions of organizations that I was with, and others might report something completely different. However, I waited patiently, and gave organizations the benefit of the doubt, and yet now, decades later, things haven’t changed to a degree that matches what I was expecting. In fact, things are far short of what I – and so many others – have been “waiting patiently” for.

Now, still, so many faith groups (and the family units within them) discriminate against LGBTQ+ people, whether actively or passively. “Weaponized unity” as described by Jemar Tisby, is the perfect description of this phenomenon – “Just wait a bit longer for your basic rights to be accepted. Don’t rock the boat. As long as you wait quietly and don’t say anything that will upset the people who are hurting you, and don’t ask for more, we can all still come to the same services/family gatherings/spaces. But if you speak up, others will be upset and the disruption will be your fault.”

It’s yet another variation of blaming the victim. Instead of demanding that people stop discriminating, we’re asking some people to hide their true identities, or accept less than full equality, while others, in power, discriminate without consequence.

If the only thing holding our families or faith groups together is the fact that some people are allowed to discriminate, we don’t have unity. Plus, we have been asking people to “just wait a bit longer” for way too long. At the same time as people are leaving the church in rapid numbers (and leaderships wonder why), too many denominations use “weaponized unity” to keep those who are being discriminated against quiet, so that those who are discriminating don’t get upset.

We all deserve protection from discrimination – and it’s not OK to take the protection that we get and turn it around to offer someone else less than we get. It goes every direction and overlaps in countless ways. Women, minorities, Muslims, gays and so many others are legally protected from discrimination (even though it still happens). If we, as women, don’t want to be discriminated against, we can’t promote discriminate against Muslims or LGBTQ+ families. We as LGBTQ+ families deserve protection, and need to extend the same respect to our Muslim neighbours – and expect the same respect to be shown to us. We can not, in good conscience, expect someone else to tolerate discrimination that we wouldn’t accept for ourselves.

We can – and must – do better.

We always have new people joining – and it would be great to hear from all of you!

Please share your responses in the comments (to any or all questions)!

• Where are you from?
• What is one sustainability-related goal that you have?
• What is one sustainable thing that you would like to do, but have a question?
• What’s one thing that you would change if it was easier to do? (Might be something that you are already working on, but haven’t fully achieved).

Here are my answers:

• I am in Canada (in SW Ontario (about an hour from Toronto)
• I am always working to reduce my emissions (food, travel, housing etc)
• I would use public transit more, if we had a better system AND
• I would tow our little camper trailer with an EV – if we could find an affordable option
• Plus, I would make sure that every faith group is completely LGBTQ+ safe and welcoming! 🌈

Looking for more info?

• Check out the website!
• There are lots of great zero-waste and sustainable items in the website store!
• Questions? Ask me in the comments, or book a meeting with me via Upwork (link on the website).

I look forward to hearing from you!

We all know that community – in all kinds of ways – is important. However, it’s not always easy or present in the ways that we might hope it would be.

Families might exclude members for being LGBTQ+, faith groups may not be fully welcoming or people may lose connection for many other reasons. The family gatherings available to some people aren’t always available for everyone.

Even separate from direct, active forms of exclusion, many people are looking for more connection, and sometimes it can be hard to find. So, today, we’re starting the conversation. In the comments, if you are open to it, please share your experiences with community.

Where have you been included? Where have you been excluded? How have family, friends and faith groups welcomed (or excluded) LGBTQ+ people?

If you would like something more or different, what would you like? What would help you feel more connected to others?

Do you reach out to others? Do others reach out to you? Where have you had your best or worst experiences? Please share your thoughts in the comments, and we’ll start working together to create better, safer, more inclusive spaces!

Have a great day!

After a break for the holidays, we’re back! Today we’re talking about safety at the holidays for LGBTQ+ individuals/families with potentially unsafe extended families or other connections. When so many people gather, many of us have gatherings that aren’t safe or welcoming. So today, that’s what we are talking about.

Holidays and special occasions (whenever they may take place) are often a time for family gatherings (whether in person or remote). However, if those gatherings aren’t safe/free from discrimination, it makes the holidays tough for those who are excluded.

What are holidays like for you? Are your gatherings safe and welcoming? Does your (extended) family have firm rules that ensure discriminatory behaviour is not allowed?

Do you have gatherings that you no longer attend? Are you able to find other gatherings that are safe instead?

What would it take to make gatherings safe? Have you found people in your circles receptive to change that would make gatherings more inclusive?

Where do you live and how has the political climate in the last few years directly impacted you?

Share your thoughts, questions and wins in the comments. I’ll respond to all of your questions (or as many as I can!)